Sometimes When We Touch - Dan Hill

You ask me if I love you
And I choke on my reply
I'd rather hurt you honestly
Than mislead you with a lie
And who am I to judge you
On what you say or do?
I'm only just beginning to see the real you

And sometimes when we touch
The honesty's too much
And I have to close my eyes and hide
I wanna hold you til I die
Til we both break down and cry
I wanna hold you till the fear in me subsides

Romance and all its strategy
Leaves me battling with my pride
But through the insecurity
Some tenderness survives
I'm just another writer
Still trapped within my truth
A hesitant prize fighter
Still trapped within my youth

And sometimes when we touch
The honesty's too much
And I have to close my eyes and hide
I wanna hold you til I die
Til we both break down and cry
I wanna hold you till the fear in me subsides

At times I'd like to break you
And drive you to your knees
At times I'd like to break through
And hold you endlessly

At times I understand you
And I know how hard you've tried
I've watched while love commands you
And I've watched love pass you by

At times I think we're drifters
Still searching for a friend
A brother or a sister
But then the passion flares again

And sometimes when we touch
The honesty's too much
And I have to close my eyes and hide
I wanna hold you til I die
Til we both break down and cry
I wanna hold you till the fear in me subsides

Happy techno-ambivalenc-ing

Taming of the Shrew

The Chairman
What a funny thing it was! He got stuck in a chair! Edging his neck deeper and closer between the crack, it was only fine skill he could master.

“just a bit more and I can show mom?”

Nice chair, good chair! Just a bit more. This plastic slit between the back and seat holds up a little too well.

“ouch! This had better be worth it.”

He twisted and turned; manipulated strands of hair. The lights blinked from the television set but the voices of Alice and the Mad-hatter had become a lump of incomprehensible gabble.

Droplets of sweat formed on his forehead and one or two rolled into his eyes.

With the last heave of breath and push, his neck was given satisfying acceptance.
Now, is there anything he can’t do? He grinned like the Cheshire Cat. With his body firmly hid behind the chair and head sticking out, he looked like the elusive animal too. The hall appeared funny from this angle- there was the same television, the sofa set and carpet; his toys scattered with neglect on the floor but they all seemed to be laughing at him. Suddenly he no longer felt in control.

It’s time to show mum. But he didn’t have to call her, for there she was, standing frozen at the doorway, then rushing over in dismay.

Why the dismay?

“alright darling, tilt your head a little, see if we can get you out”

Yeah, that’s simple. I can do that. Nice chair, good chair! This plastic definitely holds up well.

“ouch. Not good.” he wished that mum wouldn’t look so alarmed. It made him feel like crying. His neck is starting to hurt.

Mom has started to cry. She called dad at the office, told him not to be alarmed. As he sat sadly next to her, the chair like a cone collar on a dog, mom made another phone call. Her directions were crystal clear and calm.

The fire department has arrived! Two brave men guarded the red engine while four stout men ran into the apartment armed with an axe and toolbox.

“This is the first time we’ve encountered this.” One of them remarked observantly as he stroke the stubble on his chin.

The work was tedious and long but slowly and surely, one back broke (pity about the chair) and his neck was freed.

The little boy paced a little, shrugged as though trying out a new neck on the skinny shoulders, and grinned, “Great work guys, you certainly learn something new everyday!”

This is for Abel who grew up a precocious child and is now a man-boy with an old soul. Confused? Yeah so am I. Happy 3rd Anniversary.

3 to eternity

because you

1. have a face i can wake up to each morning
2. respect people by being punctual
3. are good to my family and try in your way to get to know them.
4. can cook and don't think it's only a woman's job
5. would like me to cook for you.
6. do the housework and don't think it's only a woman's job
7. are appreciative of me when I do tasks you normally don't like to do, but dont expect it of me.
8. enjoy reading
9. recommend good books to me
10.crack jokes that make me laugh out loud
11.are not petty
12.are not afraid to cry
13.are objective
14.remember the things i like
15.will not leave me to my own devices or defences
16.are a family boy and who love your parents and brother, and it shows.
17.forgive me
18.remind me to pray
19.remind me to be grateful
20.are creative
21.make the effort in everything you do
22.are tall. and I like tall guys
23.like both chess and soccer because that way your character has been influenced by these two hobbies.
24.like to eat but are not fussy about your food
25.are a good example of being abstemious
26.are intelligent and discrete
27.are generous with your time, thoughts, person and money
28.have direction and continue to trust in the Lord to make your way straight.
29.write very well. And 'words' happen to be one of my love languages.
30.like to buy things for me and appreciate the things I buy for you.
31.are patient with my moods.
32.are appreciative of my appearance and presentation and reassure me, though it may not be the most important thing.
33.appreciate my piano-playing and encourage me in it
34.work on things I am particular about. (like not eating loudly)
35.are good with kids like your brother, and are like a brother to your friends.
36.are a disciplined person.
37.have parents that brought you up the way they did, for the person you have become to be.
38.and I met in Australia, and have precious moments there that I will keep closely to my heart.
39.are interested in Psychology, and I, social work, because it is a great talking point.
40.make contact with me several times a day to say you love me.
41.make effort in your appearance but are not vain.
42.have life priorities that I would want in my life partner
43.are someone whom i can share my problems and talk about my work with.
44.share with me about your work and knowledge
45.calm me down when I am angry
46.help me verbalise my thoughts when they are a lump of mumble jumble
47.and I have room to grow as a couple in Christ.
48.and I both want to keep dogs.
49.have parents happen to be in the fields that I am in. I believe God has well organised this.
50.and I met in Zion. Not an unlikely place and period. But the best, grace-filled place and period.
51.and I are melancholics
52.are a phlegmatic, and I a sanguine, so that with our differences, we are a nice fit.
53.do not mind taking public transport and walking. Although when tired we wished for a car (which we will get in 54.future for sure), this has made us grateful for the cheap, simple things.
55.were brought up in a middle-class family, like mine. For that, some of our life perspectives are the same.
56.are careful with your money knowing that it's the Lord's resources too.
57.have nice facial features like big eyes, sharp nose, good complexion and well-shaped lips.
58.look for the good in adverse situations
59.hate sin but love the sinner.
60.like to hold my hand and accept hugs
61.like to shop when many guys find it pointless.
62.respect my need for quiet and space.
63.take interest in my friends and knows some of their names
64.and i have mutual friends, and this number is growing.
65.have friends that i like and who like me.
66.like fixing up the christmas tree with me
67.are not fixated on physical beauty and encourage me not to as well.
68.and i can just sit and count the number of people wearing shorts, and enjoy such activity together.
69.are sensitive to my compulsions and fears.
70.and I have walked in storms before. both Literally and figuratively.
71.don't nag me too much
72.are alert even when you are tired. that to me is mental strength and discipline.
73.will rest when you are tired. that to me is discipline.
74.will watch a movie with me and don't mind it when I fall asleep in it.
75.offer to send me home.
76.meet me for lunch at my workplace whenever you can.
77.are pedantic but do not impose your expectations on others.
78.like walking through museums, like me.
79.do not enjoy gore and terror movies, like me.
80.try to mean yes when you say "yes", and no, when you say "no".
81.do not take things too seriously, or at least try not to.
82.have an opinion everytime I ask for one.
83.pronounce your words properly and are not a lazy talker except for the occasional "rapsberries" and " warps"
84.are not lazy.
85.sit through shows like "america's next top model" although you have great disdain for them. because you know I 86.watch them.
87.eat baked beans with me, and bread with peanut butter.
88.have sensible fashion sense.
89.rebuke me when you think I have gotten out of line.
90.do not think that considering nice names for his children next time is a scary activity.
91.are romantic not in the way of a dozen red roses, but more a story writer of a dozen roses.
92.consider me in the decisions that you make
93.help me in my decision making.
94.believe in learning something new everyday!
95.are confident in your strengths
96.know that you are not perfect but take comfort in knowing that you are being perfected each day.
97.are a frank person.
98.constantly return to God to please Him.
99.are nice to your female friends.
100.pursued me in exactly the way that I wanted even though it was out of your comfort zone.
101.strive to be a healthy person by "eating slowly"
102.are adept in your english language
103.are patient with my baby steps to improve and do not expect me to take quantum leaps.
104.have good taste in female bags, shoes and clothes and help me choose things.
105.are thorough in your undertakings, from jotting down schedules to planning activities to the littlest details.
106.have varied tastes in books and movies across genres and times periods.
107.you size people up on first meeting, but also gives them the benefit of doubt.
108.don't fall sick frequently, though you have the most wrenching morning cough and back/knee pains. (pregnant?)
109.do jigsaw puzzles
110.are extremely practical. Even though sometimes I am frustrated with that, I know that it's also a virtue to have.
111.help your mom with gardening, and have bought your own vegetable seeds, though I have yet to see the crops of your labour. We will get our own garden soon.
112. are not mushy and cliche.

113.have taught me what it is to be in a relationship with someone.

Opening 2007's gift

One Year with Emu Boy
I had a dream that I was wondering
Far and long- It took me
Through cityscapes and seaside towns,
Vineyards drunk and orchard grounds.
I took the train and bus and trained to walk,
Yet this distance amounts to not
One year with emu boy.
“Pardon me!” I said, to a rushing folk,
What might be the rush?
Where are you going, why all the fuss?
“Why to finish the day, and then my life will start,
My hours do not matter now, only the minutes late I trust.”
Why funny, it is I've always known
My moments seem to last
Not one minute or an hour
Or captured in a snap shot grin
But more a linking scene of laughter
In myOne year with Emu Boy
When I woke up tired and flushed,
From all the dreaming all alone,
Emu Boy entered and kissed and smiled and said.
“ Why you look exhausted, what have you been doing so,
Not wandering like you used to, all alone?”
“No in wondering I had you, I had you all along.
PerfectYear it has been, Emu boy, perfect has it not?”
“ one year?” He said astonished-
“Oh you mean in human terms…”
“ How our emu time is measured, ____________________”

Birthday with Al
This was going to be her first birthday with Al. She smiled and her fingers lifted involuntarily to the potted ferns in front of her. The leaves were immaculate but she had to check them for caterpillars everyday. Just in case. Her stomach was in knots, fearing she had missed anything out in the excitement. For a long time now, her commitment had been to something far more addictive than Al. Less dependable, destructive even. It was something her friends couldn’t understand and she didn’t want them to. Al had come along at a bad time when she was at the peak of her dependency with it. The more she tried to hide it from him, the more it showed itself. But she didn’t have to go through all that trouble, really. Al didn’t want her to hide anything from him.She jumped back in dismay. Many of the leaves of the fern lay crushed at her feet and she quickly picked every fragment up from the balcony to throw away.“Hey, where’s my pretty lady?” Al shouted from downstairs.Going past the balcony door into the interior, she counted, “one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine” as she twisted the lock close behind her.

The Picture in his wallet
We were sitting in the bus when it happened:
The metal clasp snaps open
And therein beams the sweetest smile
That ever is,
Exists the only thought can ever think.
Where models stain their lips so red,
Hers is all natural pink.
Black is the all- new black,
No more peeking roots and tinted fringes-
Like a-fraying spaghetti strap,
She wears a pure white t-shirt
that calls no whim, no frantic fancy.
But trusts that beauty is her own
Her eyes speak ‘human’ who would know
Says the guy who loves her so.
Before I could draw a longer gaze
He snapped it shut and so no more.
But on the bus as people came
All I saw each had her face.